NEW MOON x2 (here we go again)

Today is Saturday....and I slept. YES... I slept through my review for Property.....amazing....I went to bed at 10pm...and woke up at 8:45....I blame this on going to see New Moon at 3am....damn me for being 24 and unable to pull an "all nighter"....some girls at the show were talking about how they left the bars and came to the theatre....fun fun....ahhh to be 21 again...and not have responsibilities....wait...I DID...I WAS MARRIED AND HAD A MORTGAGE at 21! LOL!

BUT in other news...I created a car ride CD filled with Miley, Britney, LadyGAGA and a few others to listen to in the car while we drive to our Twilight/New Moon party!

I get to see it again!!!! BUT....only 2 of my friends are actually as excited as me (and one came with me for the 3am showing!)....sooo we shall see!!

Enjoy your Saturdays!!!

Exhausted

AHHHHHHH YESSS....NEW MOON........

I am so happy that I went to the movies...
but I am so exhausted...
AND I get to do it all again tomorrow!!
YEAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was so Corny, and funny, and I loveeeeeeeeeeed it!!
I can not wait to read all of these books again.....

DAMN YOU LAW SCHOOL FINALS....

Here is a picture of me and my friend with our "excited" faces!

Dreams.....Really.....WTF

So I have been having the weirdest dreams! Seriously! I am a married women. Married and happy. No fighting, no arguing....PLUS we are getting a lot of you know what due to the fact that we are trying to make a baby (well...every other day type of deal...that is what the RE said to do)....BUT I keep having these dreams...w

I am usually 17ish and usually at a party. A high school party. I usually didn't go to parties...I was too busy with my boyfriend, friends, sports, etc. BUT here I am at a party, and I run into a bunch of people I know (in real life I have no idea who they are, I can not recognize any of them)...and I am single. Dave is there...and basically tells all the of the guys that I am his...And I "led" on someone in the dream...without meaning to! WICKED STRANGE HUH? I never even knew Dave until I was in college! AND did I also mention that I had a seriously boyfriend while I was in high school?

Can anyone help me interpret this dream? I woke up this morning feeling bad! I even told Dave about it! I led someone on! LOL!

IN OTHER NEWS...#twilightposse....today is the day....well, I should say....tomorrow morning VERY early...I will get to see NEW MOON!!! SAWWEEEETT!

NEWWWWW MOOOON!!!!!!!!!

So...I am a huge fan... AND I am going to a party on Saturday night to see the first "Twilight" movie, and THEN off to the movies to see "New Moon". BUT I talked a friend into going TOMORROW...for opening night....well Friday AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So those are TWO tickets already purchased for Friday and Saturday!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOO!!!

Twitter

Are you all on my twitter??? Am I following all of you?? Well....I made my private...for certain reasons....but if you would like to be my friend JUST ask...and I will add you...AND I love to follow other people...and do the @ reply thing ALL day long with my phone! :)

JUST click here to find me!

a BIG THANKS...

I wanted to write and thank all of you who commented on my last post. As most of you know, I struggle with IF...and those of you who have been through this can understand where I am coming from....and the other ladies I appreciate the caring comments!

I spoke to Dave about my last post...and he thought I was insane! He actually told me that he wants to keep me forever...baby or no baby.

It has been a tough road, but hey...I HAVE PROZAC to take a problems away! I was just kidding.... (even though I LOVE my crazy pills!!)

Yesterday we hung around the house, spent money at Wal-Mart on things that we don't particularly need...and just spent time together....we also received some mail this weekend....from a local Christian organization...with domestic adoption information. It is something that we are considering (that and fostering). I will keep you updated on all of it...but for now...I am just looking for the best organization to go with...if you know of any great ones PLEASE let me know....

Break Through

Last night we went to dinner at a friends house. It was actually the "play date" that Dave set up for us! It was a nice dinner party...and we ate a lot of homemade yummy food!

But we had a break through....well, Dave had one.

Both of the couples are having babies. Andrea is 18 weeks pregnant, and Jenna is 16 weeks pregnant. They both had bellies, they both talked about the kicking and moving of the babies, they both talked about what they wanted to have, they both talked about not doing the first trimester screening (which is what caused us to have the amnio, which showed us our babies disorder), they both talked about names, they both talked about the nursery....really....they are both so excited that they are starting their families that they talked about it!

I do not blame them for being so excited! I was so happy to be pregnant and start our family, and told everyone and anyone that would listen.

BUT on the way home, Dave realized that his "play date" might have actually made me very sad. He looked at me and said: "I am sorry that you are not pregnant, that you are not having a baby next month, and I don't want you to be so sad".

This was a huge breakthrough. Because I didn't say anything, he was the one who brought it up! It wasn't me....it was him! I also realized that he too is sad, and hurting from this. He just does not show it at all. And that made me feel even worse! I have been selfish. He married a dud. I am a dud. I can not give him a baby, and who knows if I can ever give him one. And he has only ever wanted a large family.